My Lord and My God
John 20:19-31

April 19, 2009


THE BETRAYAL OF THEIR MASTER BY JUDAS, ONE OF THEIR OWN COLLEAGUES; THE ARREST OF JESUS BY THE JEWISH AUTHORITIES; THE EXPERIENCE OF THEIR FEAR AND COWARDICE AT THE TRIAL AND CONVICTION 0F JESUS; THE WITNESSING OF JESUS’ VIOLENT DEATH ON THE CROSS; THE UNCEREMONIOUS BURIAL OF HIS BRUISED AND WOUNDED BODY –

IT HAD BEEN A FRIGHTENING, DANGEROUS, AND GRIEF-FILLED WEEK FOR THE REMAINING APOSTLES BY SUNDAY, THE FIRST DAY OF THE WEEK FOLLOWING THESE TRAGIC EVENTS. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NATURAL FOR THE REMAINING APOSTLES TO ARRANGE TO GET TOGETHER, IN SECRET, TO AVOID FURTHER TROUBLE WITH THE JEWISH AUTHORITIES, IN ORDER TO EXPRESS AND SHARE THEIR GRIEF, TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAD HAPPENED, TO DISCUSS THEIR PROSPECTS FOR THE FUTURE AND THE IMPLICATIONS FOR FURTHERING OF JESUS’ WORK.

BY THE TIME THEY GOT TOGETHER THERE WAS ALSO NEW AND PUZZLING INFORMATION TO ADD TO THEIR CONFUSION AND CONCERN. PETER AND JOHN, ALERTED BY MARY MAGDALENE, HAD GONE TO THE TOMB WHERE JESUS HAD BEEN BURIED, AND FOUND IT EMPTY! AND, TO SOME OF THE OTHER DISCIPLES, MARY HAD REPORTED LATER THAT DAY THAT SHE HAD SEEN AND SPOKEN WITH THE LORD!!

IN THE MIDST OF ALL THAT CONFUSION AND UNCERTAINTY, ONE CAN HARDLY GRASP THE RANGE AND DEPTH OF EMOTIONAL RESPONSES THE DISCIPLES WOULD HAVE HAD TO JESUS’ SUDDEN APPEARANCE AMONG THEM! HOW MIND-BOGGLING IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TO SEE HIM! HOW WONDERFUL TO BE TOGETHER AGAIN- EVEN IF ONLY FOR A FEW MOMENTS! AND ULTIMATELY, HOW DIFFICULT IT MUST HAVE BEEN TO UNDERSTAND THIS IMPOSSIBLE TURN OF EVENTS – INDEED, TO BELIEVE THEIR OWN EYES!!

THE APOSTLE THOMAS, FOR WHATEVER REASONS WAS NOT PRESENT WITH THE OTHER 10 WHEN JESUS APPEARED AMONG THEM. SO, OF COURSE, WHEN HE ARRIVED LATER, HIS COLLEAGUES WOULD HAVE BEEN BURSTING WITH EXCITEMENT, PERHAPS A LITTLE GIDDY WITH THEIR NEWS – “WE HAVE SEEN THE LORD!” THEY WOULD HAVE FELT BADLY FOR THOMAS OF COURSE, THAT HE HADN’T BEEN THERE TO SHARE THE EXPERIENCE. BUT , PERHAPS, OUT OF THEIR OWN INABILITY TO COMPREHEND THIS UNIMAGINABLE MIRACLE, THEY COLLECTIVELY NEEDED TO HEAR WHAT THOMAS’ REACTION WOULD BE TO THEIR NEWS.

WHY WOULD THOMAS’ VIEWPOINT BE CONSIDERED IMPORTANT TO THE OTHER APOSTLES?

IT IS IMPLICIT IN THE GOSPELS THAT THOMAS WAS SEEN AS A STRONG LEADER WITHIN THE GROUP AND THAT THEY WERE OPEN TO HIS SUGGESTIONS, OR DIRECTIONS. IT IS ALSO CLEAR THAT THOMAS WAS, CHARACTERISTICALLY, VERY INTROSPECTIVE ABOUT JESUS, AND STRUGGLED FOR A RATIONAL UNDERSTANDING OF HIM AND HIS TEACHINGS. UNDOUBTEDLY THE APOSTLES WOULD LOOK TOWARDS THOMAS TO HELP THEM UNDERSTAND THE MYSTERY OF JESUS’ REAPPEARANCE AMONG THEM. THE FIRST SUPPORT OF THESE VIEWS IS REFLECTED IN VARIOUS GOSPELS WHEN NAMES OF THE APOSTLES ARE MENTIONED. PETER ,THE ACKNOWLEDGED LEADER AMONGST THE DISCIPLES, AND THOMAS ARE OFTEN REFERENCED TOGETHER, SUGGESTING SOME SORT OF EQUALITY OF STATUS WITHIN THE GROUP, THAT THEY WERE OFTEN THOUGHT OF AS EQUALLY IMPORTANT, AT LEAST BY THE GOSPEL WRITERS.

SECONDLY, WE KNOW THAT ON A LEAST ONE MAJOR OCCASION, THE APOSTLES LISTENED TO THOMAS’ ADVICE AND RESPONDED COLLECTIVELY TO HIS VERY CLEAR COMMITMENT TO JESUS AND TO THE MINISTRY OF JESUS. THE SITUATION AROSE WHEN JESUS INDICATED HIS DESIRE TO RETURN TO BETHANY TO ATTEND TO HIS FRIEND LAZARUS WHO WAS SERIOUSLY ILL. JESUS AND HIS DISCIPLES HAD JUST RECENTLY ESCAPED FROM BETHANY WHERE HIS LIFE HAD BEEN SERIOUSLY THREATENED BY DISSENTING JEWS THROUGH ALL THE CONVERSATION AND DEBATE THAT THIS DESIRE OF JESUS TO GO TO LAZARUS WOULD HAVE CAUSED AMONG THE GROUP, IT IS FINALLY THOMAS WE ARE TOLD WHO RECOGNIZED THAT JESUS FULLY INTENDED TO MAKE THIS JOURNEY WITH OR WITHOUT THEM. IT IS THOMAS WHO SUMMONS UP THE COURAGE TO ACCOMPANY JESUS, AND IT IS THOMAS WHO APPARENTLY PERSUADES HIS COLLEAGUES TO COME ALONG, EVEN IN THE FACE OF SUCH DANGER. “LET US GO ALSO” HE SAYS, “THAT WE MAY DIE WITH HIM.”

ANOTHER VIEW OF THOMAS, AS A CONTEMPLATIVE SEEKER OF CERTAINTY ABOUT WHO JESUS WAS, AND THE MEANING OF JESUS SOMETIMES CRYPTIC COMMENTS,OCCURS AT THE LAST SUPPER ON THE EVE OF THE PASSOVER.

THE GOSPEL OF JOHN, WRITING ABOUT THAT EVENING,ATTRIBUTES TO JESUS A LENGTHY AND SPIRITUAL MONOLOGUE , IN WHICH JESUS TRIES TO EXPRESS TO THE 12, THE FINAL THINGS HE WANTED THEM TO KNOW ABOUT THE IMMINENT EVENTS IN HIS LIFE, AND THE INSIGHTS THEY WOULD NEED TO SUSTAIN THEIR FAITH AND TO CONTINUE HIS WORK WITHOUT HIS PRESENCE. AS PART OF HIS REMARKS, JESUS SAYS “AND, IF I GO AND PREPARE A PLACE FOR YOU, I WILL COME AGAIN AND TAKE YOU TO MYSELF SO THAT WHERE I AM YOU MAY BE ALSO.” A THOUGHTFUL AND PRAGMATIC THOMAS INTERRUPTS JESUS: “LORD WE DO ¬NOT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING. HOW CAN WE KNOW THE WAY? JESUS ANSWERS, STILL IN AN ABSTRACT, METAPHYSICAL WAY: “I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. NO ONE COMES UNTO THE FATHER BUT BY ME. IF YOU KNOW ME YOU WILL KNOW MY FATHER ALSO. FROM NOW ON YOU DO KNOW HIM AND HAVE SEEN HIM.” WHETHER OR NOT JESUS’ RESPONSE ANSWERED THOMAS’ QUESTION CLEARLY ENOUGH IS NOT DISCLOSED, BUT IT TELLS US MORE OF THE MYSTERY OF JESUS THAT THOMAS AND THE OTHERS NEEDED TO UNRAVEL.

THERE IS FURTHER EVIDENCE, FROM A DIFFERENT SOURCE, THAT THOMAS WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL ABOUT THE PERSON JESUS WAS, AND THAT THOMAS WAS STRUGGLING CONSCIOUSLY TO UNDERSTAND HIM COMPLETELY.

THE CELEBRATED CHRISTIAN AUTHOR, ELAINE PAGELS TELLS US THAT “A CACHE OF TEXTS FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE CHRISTIAN ERA, WERE UNEARTHED NEAR NAG HAMMADI IN UPPER EGYPT, IN 1945.” AMONG THEM WAS A COLLECTION OF WRITINGS REFERRED TO NOW AS THE “LOST GOSPEL OF THOMAS”.

THIS GOSPEL IS A STRAIGHTFORWARD COLLECTION OF OVER 100 REMARKS ATTRIBUTED TO JESUS. MOST OF THEM ARE WITHOUT CONTEXT OR EXTERNAL REFERENCE , BUT THEY OBVIOUSLY REPRESENT STATEMENTS THAT THOMAS FOUND COMPELLING, OR CRYPTIC OR NECESSARY ENOUGH TO REFLECT ON IN HIS DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND, AND TO FOLLOW JESUS FAITHFULLY.

ONE OF THE ENTRIES IN THIS “LOST GOSPEL” CAPTURES A CONVERSATION BETWEEN JESUS AND SEVERAL DISCIPLES:

“JESUS SAID TO HIS DISCIPLES…COMPARE ME TO SOMEONE AND TELL ME WHOM I AM LIKE.” SIMON PETER SAID TO HIM, “YOU ARE LIKE A RIGHTEOUS ANGEL.” MATTHEW SAID TO HIM, “YOU ARE LIKE A WISE PHILOSOPHER.” THOMAS SAID TO HIM, “MASTER MY MOUTH IS WHOLLY INCAPABLE OF SAYING WHOM YOU ARE LIKE.”

IT IS TO THIS THOUGHTFUL, INTELLIGENT, RESPECTED AND INFLUENTIAL COLLEAGUE, THOMAS, THAT THE DISCIPLES WOULD HAVE BEEN BOTH DELIGHTED AND ANXIOUS TO SHARE THEIR SIMPLY MIND-BOGGLING NEWS THAT THEY HAD “SEEN THE RISEN LORD”.

WHEN THOMAS IS TOLD IT SEEM REASONABLE TO SUPPOSE THAT HE WOULD BE AS AMAZED AT HEARING THE NEWS AS THE DISCIPLES WERE WHEN JESUS APPEARED - THAT HE WOULD SHARE IN THEIR EXCITEMENT AND HAPPINESS, AND BE GLAD FOR THEM, AT LEAST. AND PERHAPS IN THE IMMEDIACY OF THE NEWS HE WAS ALL OF THAT. BUT TO THE LOGICAL NEXT QUESTION LIKELY TO HAVE BEEN PUT TO HIM “WHAT SENSE DO YOU MAKE OF IT ALL?’ , THOMAS CAREFULLY PULLS BACK, AND BRINGS IN A NOTE OF HESITATION. “UNLESS I SHALL SEE IN HIS HAND THE PRINT OF THE NAILS, AND PUT MY FINGER INTO THE PRINT OF THE NAILS, AND THRUST MY HAND INTO HIS SIDE, I WILL NOT BELIEVE.”

WAS HE DOUBTING THEIR WORD? WAS HE DOUBTING THE POSSIBILITY OF THE RESURRECTION? WAS HE JUST UNWILLING TO ACCEPT FOR HIMSELF SOMETHING HE STILL COULDN’T COMPREHEND? WE PROBABLY WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT CAUSED HIS NOTE OF SCEPTICISM, BUT IT SEEMS CLEAR IN RETROSPECTIVE CONSIDERATION OF THE GOSPEL, THAT HE NEEDED TIME TO THINK!

AND THEN, FOR EIGHT DAYS, THERE IS A PERIOD OF SILENCE. THE DISCIPLES ARE INVISIBLE, AND THERE ARE NO RECORDED SIGHTINGS OF JESUS. ONE IMAGINES A WEEK OF DISCUSSIONS AMONG THE STILL-HIDDEN AND FEARFUL DISCIPLES – SUCH QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS AS “WHO WAS HE REALLY?” “WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT HIM – GO BACK TO OUR OLD JOBS?” “ HOW COULD IT BE THAT HE IS STILL ALIVE?” “ BUT,WE WATCHED HIM DIE ON THE CROSS; WE BURIED HIS BODY!” “WILL WE SEE HIM AGAIN?

AND IF IT WASN’T CLEAR, AND MUTUALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT THEY BELIEVED ABOUT JESUS, HOW COULD THEY CREDIBLY CARRY ON THE WORK?

ONE ALSO IMAGINES A PERPLEXED THOMAS, WHO HAD YET TO ENCOUNTER JESUS AS HIS FRIENDS APPARENTLY HAD, GOING OVER IN HIS OWN MIND, AND WITH HIS FRIENDS, ALL THAT HE HAD HEARD AND SEEN FROM JESUS SINCE HE HAD MET AND JOINED HIS MINISTRY, TRYING TO UNDERSTAND HOW THOSE EXPERIENCES COULD EXPLAIN JESUS REAPPEARANCE, TRYING TO UNDERSTAND FULLY WHO JESUS WAS.

ON THE 8TH DAY AFTER HIS FIRST VISITATION TO THE DISCIPLES, JESUS RETURNS TO THEM, STILL CLOSETED IN THEIR SECRET HIDEAWAY, AND THIS TIME THOMAS IS THERE. JESUS GREETS THEM ALL WITH A BLESSING OF “PEACE” AND IMMEDIATELY TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO THOMAS: “REACH YOUR FINGER HERE, AND SEE MY HANDS, AND REACH HERE WITH YOUR HAND AND PUT IT INTO MY SIDE AND BE NOT FAITHLESS, BUT BELIEVING.”

AND IN THAT GLORIOUS GOD-GIVEN MOMENT THOMAS FIGURES IT ALL OUT. HE UNDERSTANDS THE ONE-NESS BETWEEN JESUS AND GOD. HE SEES THE DIVINITY IN HIS LEADER, AND IS THUS OPEN TO UNDERSTANDING AND BELIEVING ALL HE HAS BEEN TOLD, ALL HE HAS SEEN. ONE IMAGINES HIM IN AWE-FILLED REVERENCE FALLING TO HIS KNEES AS HE SAYS “MY LORD, AND MY GOD.”

THUS JOHN ATTRIBUTES TO THOMAS THE FIRST ARTICULATION OF THE BELIEF THATJESUS WAS DIVINE AS WELL AS HUMAN. THIS MOMENT OF CLARITY, BROUGHT TO THE UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE OF THE DISCIPLES BY THOMAS WAS A CRITICAL STEP IN SOLIDIFYING THEIR FAITH, OVERCOMING THEIR FEARS, AND COMMITTING THEM TO THE PURSUIT OF CHRIST’S EXPECTATION OF THEM, THAT THEY BRING FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE OF JESUS AND OF HIS TEACHING “INTO ALL THE WORLD.” THE DEPTH AND STRENGTH OF THAT COMMITMENT IS A MATTER OF GOSPEL AND OTHER HISTORICAL RECORDING OF THE SUBSEQUENT ACTIVITIES OF THE APOSTLES, AND CAN BE HEARD IN PETER’S COMMENT LATER ON TO JEWISH AUTHORITIES WHO HAD ARRESTED HIM AND JOHN FOR PREACHING THEGOSPEL OF THE RISEN CHRIST. PETER SAID TO THEM “WE CAN NOT KEEP FROM SPEAKING ABOUT WHAT WE HAVE SEEN AND HEARD.” IN THOMAS’ CASE, HIS COMMITMENT LED HIM EVENTUALLY TO PERSIA, CHINA AND INDIA – THE ONLY DISCIPLE TO PREACH OUTSIDE THE ROMAN EMPIRE.

THIS MOMENT OF CLARITY FOR THOMAS, AND THROUGH HIM, THE 10 OTHER DISCIPLES, IS NOT THE ONLY GOOD NEWS IN THIS GOSPEL. FOR AS JESUS WAS WONT TO DO, HE DEALT WITH THE ISSUE AT HAND AND THEN TURNED IT INTO A MOMENT OF INSPIRATION AND ASPIRATION DIRECTED ULTIMATELY TO US.

NOT I THINK, IN A DISMISSIVE WAY, BUT IN THE JOY OF THOMAS’ STATEMENT OF BELIEF, JESUS ACKNOWLEDGED HIM BY SAYING, “THOMAS, BECAUSE YOU HAVE SEEN ME YOU HAVE BELIEVED; BLESSED ARE THEY THAT HAVE NOT SEEN, AND YET HAVE BELIEVED.”

THE QUESTION FOR US IS HOW DO WE, AMONG THOSE AFTER ALL WHO “HAVE NOT SEEN”, - HOW DO WE ACHIEVE THIS STATE OF BLESSEDNESS THAT JESUS HAS PROMISED IN THIS MOMENT WITH THOMAS ?

THE GOOD NEWS THAT THIS GOSPEL TELLS US IS THAT THE SUPPORTS OUR FAITH WILL REQUIRE TO REACH THAT STATE OF GRACE ARE IN PART A MATTER OF FAITHFUL RECORD IN THE GOSPELS AND ARE AVAILABLE TO US, PERHAPS ESPECIALLY IF WE ARE AS THOUGHTFUL AND ATTENTIVE IN OUR APROACH TO THESE RECORDS AS WE MUST ASSUME THOMAS WAS TO THE EXPERIENCEOF WHICH HE WAS PART.

JOHN’S NEXT WORDS AFTER THIS MEETING BETWEEN JESUS AND THOMAS ARE : “NOW JESUS DID MANY OTHER SIGNS IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS DISCIPLES WHICH ARE NOT WRITTEN IN THIS BOOK. BUT THESE ARE WRITTEN SO THAT YOU MIGHT BELIEVE THAT JESUS IS THE CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD, AND THAT BELIEVING YOU MIGHT HAVE LIFE THROUGH HIS NAME.”

AND IN THE LAST WORDS OF HIS GOSPEL JOHN EXPOUNDS FURTHER ON THAT THEME IN THE WORDS: “THERE ARE ALSO MANY OTHER THINGS WHICH JESUS DID, THE WHICH, IF THEY SHOULD BE WRITTEN, EVERY ONE, I SUPPOSE THAT EVEN THE WORLD ITSELF COULD NOT CONTAIN THE BOOKS THAT SHOULD BE WRITTEN.”

THE WRITTEN RECORD OF THE GOSPELS THEN IS MEANT TO BE RECEIVED AND INTERPRETED BY US AS LEGITIMATION AND SUPPORT FOR OUR BELIEF.

BUT IT ISN’T SIMPLY, I THINK, THAT WE ARE BEING TOLD THAT THE RECORD SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, AND THAT WE ARE BEING INVITED TO BELIEVE IN JESUS ONLY THROUGH READING THEIR RECORDS OF JESUS’ MINISTRY, AND OF THEIR EXPERIENCES AFTER HIS RESURRECTION.

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THOMAS’ REALIZATION THAT JESUS WAS BOTH HUMAN AND DIVINE IS THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING THE KINGDOM OF GOD. THE GOSPEL RECORDS ARE OFTEN CRYPTIC AND MYSTERIOUS WITHOUT THAT SPARK OF UNDERSTANDING, BUT THEY DIRECT US TO A COMPREHENSION, A BELIEF, THAT EVEN OUR PRESENT EXPERIENCES ARE EVENTS WITHIN THE KINGDOM OF GOD. AS VALIDATION OF THE RISEN CHRIST, WE BOTH EXPRESS OUR FAITH, AND WILL BE ABLE TO FIND AND SUSTAIN IT BY LOOKING FOR THE DIVINE IN OUR LIFE EXPERIENCES, OUR ENCOUNTERS WITH OTHER PEOPLE, AND IN THEIR ENCOUNTERS WITH US, AND IN OUR PRAYERFUL INTERCESSIONS WITH GOD.

IF WE ARE WATCHFUL, IF WE ARE PRAYERFUL, IF WE ARE ABLE TO INCREASE OUR FAITH THROUGH OUR PERCEPTION OF THE MEANING OF THESE EXPERIENCES, PERHAPS WE TOO WILL BE BLESSED, EVEN IF WE “HAVE NOT SEEN”.

LET US ALWAYS PRAY FOR THE DISCIPLINE OF MIND AND SOUL TO CONSTANTLY SEEK GLIMPSES OF OUR GOD THROUGHOUT OUR DAILY ROUNDS, TO FOLLOW HIS EXPECTATIONS OF US, AND TO BE BLESSED BY OUR GOD FOR OUR BELIEVING.

AMEN

Preached by Tom Stickland
Knox-Metropolitan United Church
Regina, Saskatchewan